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Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Musing-I

Can a love make you so sad
that you end up choking it?
Grabbing it with cold, big hands and then
 twist with your mind closed?


No, no.
The mind does it.
Clinically dissecting the corpse with
the scalpel of reason.
Carving out slitting shapes in the warm skin
blood pours forth in gushes.


stem the flow with pure pity.
The tears will fall
and in a salty sea drown out the numbing pain.

Tell yourself you'd never regret
the words of a million centuries that lay unspoken.


If things were done with honesty,
a lot of things would make sense.

If truth coloured the world, it would a monochrome.
The half truths paint it gray
and the lies, a brilliant rainbow.

The cries will turn to hisses in the darkness.
The void swallows it all down.

               
Running on a drug called pain,
running with the fear of being caught
and the fire to never lose.
It burns out the person inside.
Makes the chains stronger.

However further we go, the chains drag us back.

Don't hurt yourself, she whispered.
Don't stab yourself over the shame.
There's no shame if you don't think you are wrong.
There's no shame in the pain of truth.

Clear and clean. Water cleanses it all down and melts them all into dirt.
Out at sea even a shudder can be an earthquake.

Not alone, Don't fret.
Why not?
We die alone.
What's the point then?
Love in a life that's at a moment's notice.

Really is it all that worth?
Stop judging what you don't know.

Getting to a place that's comfortable.
That's existing.
We're so caught up in that.

No time no time! Throw it all in the flurry of a passing passion.
It's all a game and everyone's losing!
Not a moment's grace and everything leaves as it comes.
Nothing lasts. Nothing should.
Nothing stays. Some things should.
But they never do.
Time, Tide, Love wait for no one.
Everything has it's limits.

And everything shouldn't.

The limit is the sky but the limit binds us down in thought.
Not perspective. It changes into a silent nothingness as you ascend.
Don't fear the mirror. It only shows what is solid.

If everything was solid, feeble shoulders would crack under mountainous burdens.

In some parallel world it probably is all possible.
To concepts and dreams like holding up a placard.
There'll be a formula for love
and music would lose it's meaning.
It would all be a theorem and everyone would be happy from
their Birth unto Death.

If everything was solid.

We'd give each other blocks or triangles to show our feelings.
I wonder where they'd come from.

Would we collar our feelings around with a lock at our throats holding us to people and things?


Would we ever hand over the keys to someone who has their own lock?


We would ultimately for our own pervertedly justified reasons.

and we'd give it a name and seal it down with hot wax.

Memories that are vague and watch them float out the car window as the air ruffles our hair.
We are ourselves only in our mind's eye because to us we're solid.

We're just a perspective.
A point of view.
We're just a concept.
Can you fall in love with a concept?









Thursday, October 18, 2012

A long breath.

I havn't updated the blog in months!! 。・゚゚・(>д<)・゚゚・。
There were all these things happening
and then nothing happened.
And the then Poet's block.


What does one do in such a position?


I went into something I call "Experiencing mode."
I gather experience in this time. It an be any duration- from a few weeks to months. After I gather all the experience and I feel I'm ready to create something beautiful, I ply myself over my piece of art. It is needless to say that a mindset to create something, and not evaluate it before it's put down is what I was trying to reach for here. I'm predisposed to think and then express- mincing, sharpening, painting words to come out beautiful. For that to happen, sharpening of tools, traveling and an open mind are vital.
Recently I have seen that just words are not enough to convey the things that I experience, the feelings that drive me to express. Just words can never be enough, but nor can just pictures.  Nor can music alone do justice.
Only if we combine the mediums, there might be some chance, to do the inspiration justice.

Lately, I've been pressing forward at my skill for vocal presentation and I feel certain that there is strength in it. Writing my own songs is a bit different but singing with emotions is something that I'm perfecting.

As for writing, I find it more and more complex to go for simpler themes. It's a challenge. Then again, I should perhaps tackle my writing style from the perspective of typography. Typography has always interested me not just for the "coolness" or the external beauty that is provides to writing but it is, in itself such a grand metaphor that choosing the correct typeface can, pretty much make or break a piece.

Typographical art requires a lot more understanding of the bigger picture than poetry can in itself provide because it requires a clear and minute understanding of two mediums. What a simple comma may express in a poem is quite different when it is written using old style calligraphy.
Much to my astonishment, my affinity to ink-pens has not reduced since I started writing with ballpens because Kanji just flows better using those fine tips.Nevertheless, I would still prefer a fountain pen to any fancy looking, well advertized ball pen. Sincerely, poetry is to be written in fountain pen.

With singing, I realized what all the drama related to good singing was. Just like with my poetry, I discovered that the lines that I sang that came out "right" were all the ones that had the words tossed in with the perfect amount of feeling.

So, with this new post I will do what it takes to create something beautiful each week. The medium is not the barrier or the measure.

Monday, June 25, 2012

THE CORRS COVER!!


I love making song covers!!! ^_________^ This song is so close to my heart!
This is my cover version of The Corr's song Runaway. Enjoy! Listen and review!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Junsu

I looked his way once.
It was like he was pulling me over
in a deepening sense of captivity;

Like a dream,
I never realized when I got here.

I couldn't just take my eyes away yet.

A smile that twisted into a smirk.
Knowing all too well what I feel.

It can't be true, can it?
So far away it is between me and you
and it burns so bright;
I am molten.

It's not even a language I understand.
I could hardly care.


It makes me wonder if it's really wrong to fall in love
with perfection.

Even though it is subjective.

It may be an illusion.
Is that what makes them so powerful?

Drowning, breath locked in my chest;
sensations rise to the consciousness
in the heart of the storm.
hardly a reaction,
something that comes from so afar.

Lust, if not love, has more than one language.
Simple enough to deliver to a starving audience.

so hard to think it's like a show that is not happening each time I replay.


Charged with an emotion so strong,
a chiselled personality in a moulded structure
a sloppy smile could rob a breath.
A sincere one could make it all the more complicated.

Who do you think of when you sing those painful deep word?                

Can it be hard to feel something you don't quite understand from a distance?
Even though it's what's sold to you,
you take in all you can.

It's not enough.
It never is.

Every moment is
this deepening sea of thought,
waves of happiness,
realization,
truth
and hope.

Who cares about this distance?
and the fact that there is no real contact.
But it is so close.

goes in with the air I breathe.

yet so far away. It can't be real.

The light and real humor that turns notes into a
cluster of stars by a large body of water.
they spread out into the water, glitter and rippling all through it.

Emotion too real,
I know when they say 'someone is a good singer'.

You can feel the emotions to your tippy toes.
And be drowned in it head first without a regret
each time.

A want to be completed without compromising;
and be just a little bit brighter at the moment,
but feel a fierce warmth that grips the heart.
Silently I will sing the meaning with tears in my eyes.

Innocence only sells in the world of adults;
the glint of a dark eye makes it all the more mature.



Painting so much of your emotion
onto colourless melodies
floating away in an unfathomable dream.
moving to a beat that hipnotizes even the stray eye;
doing what comes naturally.
It has to be natural to be this.....perfect.


(A poem written as a fan-poem for the Korean performer Xiah Junsu.)



The shape of your curved back
against the backdrop of the mirth-ridden horizon-
dripping with the sparkling dew-drops from a
breath of wind.

fingers in the metal handa,
droplets dripping off
spherical forms
on a near liquid body.

Carafe contours clothed in exquisite strands
of pristine twill
near-breathless tight lace
around a curvacious bustier.


Twirling around in lacy négligée,
it gives a touch of glamour to 
a simple sweep of the limbs.  


So passively
to watch a distant supermoon
Slip into vision
makes you crave a brilliant sun
that will never faze.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

A Place for Love

Sometimes I wish I'd given you
the wrong number;
Sometimes you are too close to
move away.

I can hardly breath
or think straight.

A pigeon flying upside down
on a moonlit night
and walking into the water
is so easy.

"Deeper still.."
she says and pulls me
on an invisible thread tied to my heart.

I close my eyes and move backwards.
The sands pull at the cracks in my
feet and
I move backwards.

The sun flares up
into a brilliant flame,
reminding me that it's
so faraway.

Blinking away a dream
so deep
I am so empty
and shadows,
moments
and hopes are raised.

Whispering in my ear a million secrets,
The silent night steals past.


I can hardly breath
as you walk past,
a smile on your face
and I can wish
for a shade of summer
in my open hands.

A little golden flower,
melts to honey
I drink in the name of a season lost;
a Festival of life is behind us


When the moons flip,
the hour changes the year,
on a distant shore,
I know
in your heart,
there will be place
for love to grow.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

A poem for today



Some things that are cold
remain so forever.
Some things flicker;
some things fleet.


I whispered into the night;
a flake of sweetened ice
brushed past;
I can count that on my finger-tips,
as I cross them with my thoughts.
Running it through my hair,
strands are the link:

Dragging?
I think leading.

Unmei. (fate/destiny)

Seems like a lie to the
face of truth.

In the face of things,
nothing ever really changes.

But we do.
We all do.


Like the creaking of the door,
that half-step.
The hesitating breath;
that one moment
as you hold back again.



All turn to ice.
Lodging themselves inside.
They turn everyone around them cold.
Like glass that has been in too far:
sigh?
The moonlight shines and makes
it sparkle bright.

That was the thought.
That was the feeling
and nothing,
could change.

A step away.
A call across the sea
and the breath that is held
for a life-time.

What ties us together?

Taffy.
sweet yet dangerous.
would you believe it?

Bare branches that
make me shiver.
steam rising up
and vanishing
in the river sparkle.

Distractions.
Distractions that we look for.
Things that become distractions
and a place to be.


A place where
you're protected.
A place where you are
always safe.
A place you can run away to.

Even if you don't know,
even if you don't expect it.
Even if you haven't cared much;
but the shards.

A fountain of thought.
A spring of delight.
A river of life.

Continuous;
momentarily.
Turn into one;
at the end.

Just when you are sure.
That things don't ever change.


Like a flower blooming.
In a sudden head rush of
sugar-high Spring.
Unfurling
it's large red petals.
Turning me yellow and red.

Burn the ice away.

Flipping my hair back.
Drops to the ground;
Rain.


Roar.
Burning bright;
sparkling;
Blackness fades away.
light and heat.

How could you be far?

Wrong letter.
Listening to the tune
so close.
Right here.

Right now.

I don't want to wander.
You hold me here.
Compass- it's two legs.
Even though you let me.

The light.
The bright shining sun
blindingly beautiful
on my morning skin.

Crinkling lines on a face.
So startling.
Years?
No.
Truth.

A red flame.
A yellow flame.
A pure flame.


I can see them all.
Merge into one.

Thank you.
I am what I am because you're here.
By my side.