Right before 20

Part of growing up
there is a part about each
facet about me
that changes
atleast slightly.
Yesterday all I wanted was
poker strait hair that fell to my knees.
Today I love my beautiful, bouncy,shoulder-length
wavy hair with curls at the end.
Till the day I realized the most amount of styling
I needed was the time I need to make up my mind
what mood I am in at the start of the day.
Milliseconds, but it's an instant failure or success.
For a second I frown at the reflection I saw,
but the me now is grinning with the knowledge that
I am me.
Trust me to justify the stupidest thing that I ever knew of
to be the most important
and taking my time to know what's important
and get my feet on the ground.

My heart was sleeve- loving
the breeze carried a lot with itself
and bits of my heart got scattered away then
but now I know the heart is under so many layers of skin
for a reason.
I don't intend on finding them all,
but right now, my heart is safe and where it belongs,
With me.

-The thought that lingers in my mind
is not the days that I lost,
but it was when days weren't days anymore.
They were moments I wish I could streach into eternity.
But now I love and live from moment to moment.

Sweetness and hope fill me.
There's so much to look forward to.
I can feel it in the wind
upon the oncoming winter chill.
I may frown when it;s cold,
but the bright rays of sunshine across the water that I notice
as I go to college huddled up in a bus
bring to me a smile, a rekindeled fire and the strength
to be who I am,
and be happy.


It seems hard to come by,
but I feel contented today with the way of the world,
that even tough there are a lot of wrong things,
there is a certain set harmony in the working of urban society.
Its the comfort I know, the nature that I would like to explore brings with it fears.
Silent whispers in the wind that are masked by the hooting owl
or the rustling of the leaves
is speaking the heart's word.
No rule that I Must abide,
no code of conduct that I have to stick to,
no threads that pull back my face.
I know I have a grimace at times,
but I haven't forgotten to laugh.
It's that I know, I will laugh no matter what fits or doesn't.
20 years of experience and I have to have atleast a 100 more,
I can rest tonight with hope and love in my heart and dreams that fill my head!