thoughts in lonliness

No where to belong
trapped in an endless
chasm
of time
and in perpetual
thoughts
of truth
and existence
in the sole
clamor of the heart
I
reel.
Reeling into the
scar-less sky,
wind can peel back
my eyelids,
deftly.
I watch
what's stark
reality
with painful closeness.
Super intense
death
rush
fall.

I can't break the fall
I can't
breath
but the water's rising
falling right at my back
and falling beyond me.

Soaking without warmth.
The chill cuts
like silver Katanas
in the golden sky,
tinted with the pure metal.

Singed skin,
purple wound,
blue blood.

Cold as the sky
water so close,
but never enough.

In a moment
I'm fooled.
In a moment,
I am sated.

A long second
black satin on sharp nails
steel against threads
Ripping apart
what were the
threads of the world.

I unravel.
Like a crochet doll,
each stitch, crossed over
comes undone,
Colour Burst.
RED
BLUE
GREEN
YELLOW
PURPLE
WHITE
SILVER
GOLD
MAROON
OPAL
AMBER
BLACK.

Depth.
I cry.
I need more depth.
I'm going to fall soon
and crash into tiny baubles.
Little droplets
of crystal
in the shades of rain.

wash away the earth.
I crash away as I mourn
splinter
and spark,
Lit over the ground,

Burn in the anxiety
rise to the sea in a
fevered blur
to die out
is to
smolder.

Rain and fire.
Beings bred in
the world of the unseeing eye.

People of the undergrowth,
those of the tears,
bear in your heart
the truth cruel.
To sooth thy soul
is a crime.

Status update by my heart

My heart is beating so fast!
Its like I ran a mile,

Leaping over the boulders
and fences
trying to block my way.

Feels like I've been
drinking way too much
fizz,
My heart is on a high,
an energy blast!

It feels like I have been
working out for 110 minutes
and like my heart will bust if I continue!

I can feel a catch of pressure releasing.
I can feel the bubbling thoughts going over flow,
and that my breath is coming in
short
going out in
spurts.

I had its price,
my thoughts had
taken a toll
and now they
have healed too
like a little journey
has ended.

Feels like I ran a mile,
I know I had been running for so long
so fast and so far,
but now I have to still so
suddenly
that I know I'm skidding.

Yet this awareness alone is
making me steady.

Lasting moments of peace

Can I see the sky
like you see ice in
summer?

I can stare at the things
around me
and feel quite happy
that I am in a place
I chose to be.
But that does not dispel the feelings
locked inside me.

I breathe and let it go.
The breath is but a silent reminder
I am alive
and here to stay.

Can I remember the songs
that I wrote in your name?
but then I forgot
'cause I have lost
my voice.

So I eat from a bowl
of summer fruit
to freshen.
and move to beats that I can alone hear.

I do wait upon the shore.
For what,
I am completely unaware.

EVANESCENCE NEW SONG!

I love the new track. It hits strait home. I CANNOT wait for them to release the new album already!
This single is so close to me.. Feels like I've written it. Amy is simply amazing.
there's just somethings I never thought would speak my heart... but she has. She had said the words I would if I could sing them in such a beautiful one!

And it's inspiring for the fic as well!
Since I'm writing Shadows.. one of the chapters is Definitely going to be based on this song! Its going to be wonderful!
Have to add.. This song is just.. Me.

I guess

I leaned into your embrace.
Can it feel this good?

I guess I could want to.

Your eyes spoke like
sin-kissed stars.
They sparkle like jewels
in the silent sky.

The trees ripple with the
caress of the wind.
"Will it rain now?" they ask in sighs
that splash across the wind
in wave after wave of dust that
courses thro my dark hair.

I can count the swarming bees.
"Bees? its the middle of the night"
But its spring, right?

The rain tumbles down
as it flows down my skin,
my lips are sealed.
I spoke too soon.


I can shiver. I am not alone
but I am lonely.
I feel a fuzzy warmth inside my chest.
Its not what you said.
I believe it was myself
that held me close
as the dark engulfed my being.
My sight became blank.
No it was brimming black.
I stayed silent as sobs bubbled under
my throat.

My body began shutting down.
Hypothermia.
You won't die, I hear myself say.
You cant.
I won't let you.
As If I am an outsider to my self.
I love the face that I can be two beings at the same time.

and barely be aware of it.

something burns my skin.
the dark reduces.
the light begins creeping towards me.
Her long nailed fingers crawl over,
spider like,
sting me whole.
Acid.
It burns light.
Bright light.

Did I open my eyes?
I wonder.
the placid background of the sky.
The red ground.
alive.
ow confusing that two beings form
one universe.
Do I do the same?
Hide one?
but the universe does not hide.

Where can I?
How can I?
Why should I?

silent words thro sealed lips.

Did I open my eyes?
I never closed them.


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Credits for the photo do not belong to me.This picture has been added to increase the effect and enjoyment of the reader. I DO NOT OWN IT. It's someone else's Brilliant work.

things you never said

I can roll back into my bed now.
Your eyes float about in the universe..
Like planets and sight for the rest of the beings

I want the sky to fall into the earth
won't it be like glass?
perhaps it won't crack
It is the sky.
And the tears it cries brings
joy to all.
The sparkle is like diamonds.
While you sleep it cries.
Into the beautiful soft breeze.

I like it when I am awake
and the lights from the passing
cars flash across the ceiling
They don't know someone watches these
shadows move as they sleep
Tracing patterns and binding meaning
together the music
of her radio.

The painted night
is like teeth sparkling
in the dark as a dentist
tinkles around with a hook
Or is it sparkles from the millions
of sunglasses stacked as I walk
across the footpath towards and away.
I can see my pant reflected in the unseeing eyes.
so deD ARENT THEY!!!

I lean back into the sheets and close
my eyes.
I tire of these visions.

I want to hide you away
from the whole world.
Nothing can want me to give
my piece of heaven away.

I know the softness
I know now what it feels like
my moment of peace.
I long for it now
and You say you have
to give it a thought.
I know I should
but I can't.

How do you stop from a thought
a memory
I could live in it.
and you don't want to ruin it.
You want to see the sun rise.
I see it as well
but the glaze is different and
I know that I have an ache
in my being.
I long for the sweetness
and the warmth of
the morning and
the evening when you held me there.
The sun was dancing over the water..


It's not sometimes,
it's not often,
it's not that I can stop it
but that it's forever going on,
it's going on in circles of thought.
Anything will lead me there.
Anything.

I want to buy lip-gloss,
and some make-up.
that might fix my face,
but you fixed my heart.