We could have been.
Somethings in the night sky
changed.

I longed to stare at the moon
but, it made me cry.
There's no moon in the
light of Day.

Light, a dear friend,
a severe enemy.
Do you want me to hate you?
I ask out of exasperation.

I would, if I could.
I say, My love won't let me.
Let me disappear,
But I can't.
I can't let you go.

Piano can play a soothing tune.
As of night, I can hear melodies
bu like always,
I got too excited and
I couldn't see anything.


I jumped from rock
across glade.
Into space speckled with
stars a million
and I barely got back.

Felt like dancing.

The music died down
and me, lost in the flurry
of my arms and legs moving
involuntarily,
haulted me in no-space.

Blood rushed around
before I could take a breath
and stop.

You took me by the arms
and dunked me into
an ice-cold river.
I shivered. My happy spirit
sank.
To my deepest attempts
to get my breath back,
I rush to the edge.

And feel the sun lash
against the skin of my
face
harder than the cold water
had.

I can understand
when you say I can't
blame my self.

But how can I not?
Does it not prove
that I didn't deserve to be
happy?
that I didn't deserve
you?

I can't believe I could
never see,
what you said to me
was a jest;
It was true and you
ment not in a way that would
cause me hurt.

I got fooled alright.
I believed in something that
like a comet
sped away.

Leaving in its wake a
forked, burned, twisted
path of hearts.

I could cry and cry and
fill the empty sky;

I could howl louder than
a storm,
let it scare the violent
winds away.

Betrayed in it's true form
is made of 2 words
as is treacherous,
One says cutting up
you true wishes.*

急死
(sudden death)

My heart's stopped working.

驚くべきことではない.
(not surprising)

Honestly it's a wonder
I don't feel like doing
anything.

I can only soothe myself
by writing a
sweet little
elegy.

Then I pray,
that you may find a love that
puts you back together.
A love you can be comfortable wit
and a way that won't fool others the way
it did.

I pump up the music,
dope, tranquillizer and
anesthetic.

I'll sleep it off.

Like a hangover, it'll heal
with hot tea and some
fresh air.

I don't regret that I loved you.

I just hope you don't regret
not holding on.

I know you want to protect
me.
Somehow I can't see.
How can you be like all the others
who were comet like too?
I thought you were different
much like a spring-born butterfly
that fluttered over the drab
concrete jungle.

疲れた.
(I'm tired.)

Let's meet only when I can.

I can say yes to you.


I really can.
I am full
I am strong
and I can love.


But once I do,
I will never regret.
Or would I?

Hamlet-like
I am strung
between two words.

Your shadow lingers
in my thoughts.

Words, stripped to alphabet
are hanging on white string
in my room.
The ceiling holds them,
like little puppets
they twirl and
torment
and calm.

The world behind my wall.
Do you think there is one?

You say you are.
But how do I be sure?!

Is this what they say
"FATED?"

I can hardly breath
or think straight.

They tell me it's golden
but so is hot iron.
It shines
and it burns.


On the tracks that
keep playing.
remind me that there is
hope.

And to think,
I am supplementing
the laws that worked
in ways that I never
want to believe in.

They say, it makes you believe in things that don't exist.
Is that true?
Existence.
It's a doubt.

Kick me,
maybe I'll find my direction.

I'm sick
and demented.
Wanting too much.
Guilty.


I'd wanted someone else's warmth
a day ago.
Am I making so that this works
and then I can blame it on you if it doesn't?

I can't do that.
It doesn't go with that
sincerity.

That look in your eyes.
It robbed me of my breath.
am I too cynical?


I must have lost my pink-tinted
glasses in the hallways.
deep labyrinthine thoughts.
I wish there was a full-stop hanging
around somewhere in my room.
I'd punctuate your thoughts.
Puncture them, quite precisely.

Don't kid me,
I don't lie.

I lived for a moment,
loved for the same.

do you love the moment we had,
or do you love me?


I can't tell either.
I just loved the way things were back then.

I put you thro' so much,
but you kept at it.
Each day everyday,
a scrap of communication.



to chronicle it all is stupid.
I may regret that too,
that a punctuation might be a breath
too hard,
a choice too quick.

You really give me no choice.
I have to accept what I cannot think about
don't I?

I asked that you fix my heart.

You want to fix my being.
Make it just right and
continue to flight high.


I will break your heart as many times
as you do.
Revenge isn't just medicine.
It's tourniquet.
Maybe you'll change my view.

But time.
timing is everything they say.
When did it start to matter
what they said?
It had perhaps begun
when you gave me that call.


I trust you.
Only an inch with my body.
You chose my heart.

pulled its string and tried to pull it apart.
But no,
It was EXERCISE.
Hell's sake.
What were you thinking?!

I can forgive and forget for a moment.

Did you think about what you said?
I curse your gut,
I cruse your gut for trusting and knowing.



Will I cave in?
I have a feeling I will.


Or do I want to?

For once give the controls to someone else.
Who cares.
Who wants me to open up the doors barred
up and locked,
latched away in side
the labyrinthine
mansion of a mind.


I'll fight.
Like I'd repeat.

Man enough or not.

I'd rather not.
Man?
Gosh. Its a pain to think about it all.


I'd rather be the winner.
I don't ask.
I'll do.

A Human Love Story

Amongst the golden Marigold plants,
the leaves are green and thin.

The bees buzz about making
nectar of life.

If upon the rocky earth
crashes a sea of salt;
would you call that love?

Gentle emotion,
softened vision,
heartfelt utterances.

Upon the sandy desert,
a lonely image
of a lonely man
walking,
thirsting,
is met
by an angel.

She granted him one wish.
He wished for
the perfect love.

It was granted.

A man stood before him.
He was beautiful and rugged.
he looked at him with kind
and beautiful eyes.


Flowers did not bloom in the desert,
nor did it rain.
But his heart was filled with fluttering butterflies.


Upon a distant land stood a girl at her balcony.
she whistled to a darling thrush,
and he whistled back.
For a long time she sang and
so did he,
so it turned out that he was
an angelic mystery,
whistling out to her like that..

He gave her one wish.
She said,
"I want the perfect lover,"
and so she did get him.

The man from the desert
was transported
to the distant land
and in his arms
lay the most simple of
girls.
She had simple eyes with
warm expectation.
And they shone in the light.

His heart full of butterflies,
was shot in the light.
He called in to the angel and
claimed a crime committed against him.

"I want the perfect love," spoke he.
"Ah," sighed the angle. "do not condemn me this way.
I did what was best in my power.
You wished for the perfect love
and in your arms it is;

But you spoke not of the perfect lover
that fits you, so you cry that
my way of granting is
incorrect."

The man, to the sand, sank
and cried tears.
Of joy for the wish
and sorrow for the same.



Of all the virtues that humans are blessed with
the greatest of them is
to grow with time;
the lone vice being
to forgive and forget
is quite beyond him.

The maiden,
was swept away by the man;
her joy was like a sea she'd seen,
constantly growing and rippling.
She was glowing and glittering
as she gave him company,
walking along the trails
of the moving dunes.

The sun was about to set,
and man and woman sat down to a meal.
Man shared his bread
and woman shared her water.
To the setting sun they bid good day.
In each others company,
man noticed how lonely he had been.
And woman noticed how empty her life had been.

Words and phrases between them
were lighting up the night sky.
Often time they both felt like sleeping,
but kept awake
for they wanted to keep
each other
Company.

Of companionship born out of love,
humans find joy;
and of love born out of companionship:
is pure sublime bliss.

Man began now to understand the judgment
and the granting the angel exercised;
and came a full circle.

To a love that was born under the stars
and in the sands of time;
he prayed to God
a prayer of thanks.

Granting his wish in a way he
grew to understand
and giving him a chance at
renewed life
in a way he came to love.

In his arms lay his love-child.
She was beautiful,
like a jewel that sparkled
and glowed with energy and
joy.



In each man is woman
and each woman a man.
Coming to love that person,
is the best, sweetest love story
of all.
To the man or woman on the outside
becomes one with the inside,
does then one understand;
to love we all pray it be granted to us,
and hold in our hearts a memory;

Won't we really cherish it if we really found a love like that?

A night of tears
and a dawn of peace.
Someone gave me the grip
on the reigns
of my life back.


Feels like I could dive back
into the everyday grind
and survive a little longer.

New Lease of Life

For a burden I'd carried for so long,
it's a relief.

I feel I've broken free of
iron chains
that clipped and bound my wings.


I'm so free and light!
I am fresh at dawn.
Awake before dawn and
ready to take on the world
by its horns.

Breathing wave after wave of
lungs full of pure air,
I'm feeling as bright as the sun-
Even brighter!


To speak the truth,
I had no idea it was so
liberating.
I am proud of who I am an what I did.

No need to hide,
only need to shine.
To be the person I am,
to live a truth
quite divine.

Starry eyed,
sparkling.
Feeling grand like the Ganges!

LET ME STAY WITH YOU
AND WHISPER TO YOU SOFTLY
SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE
AND THE MAGIC FROM
ANOTHER WORLD...

LET'S MAKE US BELONG
TO A PLACE
SO FAR
THAT WE CAN NEVER RETURN

MAKE A HEAVEN FAR AWAY
FROM HOME
WHERE EVERYTHING IS TRUTH.

DARKER MOMENTS ON A RAINY DAY
WILL MAKE WAY FOR SOMBER NIGHT
OF SWEET HEAT
AND THE SILENT PAPER FLOWERS
IN FIELDS OF THOUSANDS
WILL BEGIN TO SPEAK.

FOR ALL THE WALLS WE BUILD,
CREEPERS FIND THE CRACKS
AND DIG IN DEEP
WIDEN THE CRACKS
AND
MAKE US CRUMBLE...

TUMBLING DOWN THE HILL-SIDE
SHORT GASPS
AS THE ROCKS HIT DEEP BROWN
EARTH,
THEY ROLL AROUND THE MOUNTAIN
CHECKING ITS GIRTH.

IN MOMENTS OF SUNSHINE,
THE SEA MAKES SALT,
IN THE GLIMMER OF TWILIGHT,
IT ECHOES HOWLS FROM ABOVE.
LIKE LITTLE BIRDS BY THE MILLIONS CAUGHT
IN A FISHERMAN'S NET
HOME TO BE BROUGHT.

HEAR THE RINGING IN MY EARS
AS YOU CLAMP THEM WITH YOUR HANDS.
FOR MISTAKING MY TEARS TO BE TEARS
OF PAIN,
AND MY VOICE TO BE CALLING FOR HELP.

SEEKING IN ME THINGS THAT DON'T BELONG,
IS IT NOT A CRIME?
TO MAKE THE CLOSEST OF FEELINGS THE
FURTHEST OF REALITIES,
A SIN GREATER THAN MURDER-
TO DENY TRUTH, MAKES THE THE LIE
FALL ON IT'S FACE.
AND GROW CLAWS
TO REAP YOU OF YOUR SENSES.

UPON THE DISTANT HILL-SIDE
WHEN I'D CALLED YOUR NAME,
THE WIND WAS SLOW,
MY VOICE IT DID NOT CARRY.
THE CLOTH OF MY SKIRT IT SHOOK,
GENTLY,
YET LEFT MY THOUGHTS INSIDE ME.


AS THE STORM OF FEARS COMES,
I WILL STAND UPON THE SAME HILL,
THE WIND WILL CARRY MY VOICE
AND DISPERSE.
AND PERHAPS, TWIST.

THE GREATEST OF THOUGHTS CAN BE MISUNDERSTOOD.

UPON PLUTO'S CROWN, WAS A JEWEL SO BRIGHT,
COULD LIGHT A PERFECT SEA WITH SHIMMER
OF GOLD.
LYING DEEP IN THE GOLDEN BODY,
PLUTO'S HEART LAY INSIDE ROCK
FROZEN.


LACHRYMOSE,
HER LIPS DYED WITH BLOOD OF THE DEAD,
HAS SHE FEELING? HAS SHE ANY GOOD DONE?

WHAT SEEMS RIGHT MAY NOT ALWAYS BE GOOD,
FOR WHO WILL DO THE WORKS THAT NEED DID
YET FEW VENTURE?

I LAY BENEATH A SECRET SUN,
IN MY HEART THE SAPLING
MAY BLOOM.

AND THE DAY IT DOES,
A SEA OF THOUSANDS
OF FLIMSY PAPER FLOWERS
WILL WEEP.

SAY SO MUCH- before the block burst.

I want to say so much.

Yet every time I see you,
I can never get the words to
blossom on my lips.


I take a deep breath as I take the stairs.
Climbing has been difficult,
but I realize each time,
descending the stairs is so much more
harder to control?

The air rushes past me in a
strong breeze.

Streching my muscles I can go further away from
so many things, but it brings me to places
that are closer to my heart.
Perhaps I may be going to places
that I would want to write songs about,
but I can't tell the difference between
dark and light.
I can feel the wind, but I am blind.


I can feel the pain.
Of a long sob rising up in my lungs like a jelly-fish
globular at the top and
tails below...
stings that leave burning sensations along my windpipe.

Did I find a rake to rake the dark thoughts out? no.
I froze it with icecream.

When a strong shot of inspiration
strikes your heart,
You can't even breathe.
The wind is knocked out,
your brain freezes and
your body spasms:
And you feel a rush of elation,
takes you to a peak like no other.


And yes, I'm depraved of all that.