My life thro a paper shreader

My life through a paper-shreader



I'm going throuh a paper shreader...
long strips of my life
like a reel of film....
Passing out like a bunch of box pleats of a skirt,
scrunched up too tight at the top,
flapping out at the bottom.
Graduating through with honours,
shaking their bodies in a Hawaian dance.
Some of them were supposed to be my
study notes.
For something or the other..
too bad I'm out of notepaper for this.
A study of my life through a shreader.
Going to present a paper
on the whining sound and
the dustbin it all falls into
scratch, scratch, graze graze.
like my teachers nails on the black-board.
She thinks of doing that every time she sees me..
make that noise.
Better then when I'm around.
Walking into the class-room
every morning,
the flat of my sneaker against the flooring
and the sand paper pupils of peeps on
my posture.
A continuose connection
of judgment, a test, an inconfidence
or no-confidence in any sort of limit of repulsion.
Mellow notes of the flute,
My heart an African drum,
a tom-tom, hipnotizing,
sleep-inducing rhythm of everyday life
Tear out chunks of my skin if you can.
Habituated to the insult of my clothes against my skin.
like a punishment for some past sins.
I seem to forget them,
"oh how convinient,"
Like every breath on my lips
and my hair moving to my continuous touch.
African elephants through my brain and on my skin
like ants that crawl and bite off.
Bits of my sanity.
The window attracts me,
I move away from the shreader.
I just finished this reel.

blood boils

Two minutes ago I was fighting fit till
I thought about today's situation
sudden gloom settled like dark clouds
ready to pelt on my heart
raindrops to hailstones
numbness and hurt all the same...
there is so much ignorance
why am I feeling this pain?
I try to disasociate, but I cannot tear the thought out
of my brain.
I cannot dissect and remove the electrical connections that
remind me of today or the heart
so that it would rain on my dry diaphram,
so cool to the skin and the innards
pin points of blood,
bubbling in the vein spurt out...
like distinct phuts and
spray one after the other....
drip drip through my brain

ESCAPE

My Escape


The empty depth of my soul.
vacant and white.
With random images of
Manga characters,
their powers, their desires,
reflecting on the base of this emptiness..
The water surface..
My soul is a lake,
around it a forest
of green and brown,
Lively colors, but no sound.
None at all.. just visuvals.
The leaves move, the water ripples.
droplets of the dew on pale latice of an old leaf
like you would call a spider's web.
There is nothing else,
except the elements and the trees.
And defiantly no element of sound.
So here I can block away what I cannot see.
Permanatly, disregard the truth's existance.
It may be there, the sound, I mean,
I may be deaf...a posibility.
This is the silence I seek.
I do not seek out the existance of sound,
nor that how may trees shead their leaves.
the water is clear, blue green
in my iris, like ice, but soft like my breath.
So calm, so quiet.

hey who the hell told you I had a deifeciency for common sence??

To tell you the truth... I lost my common sense in that last coke-float I downed....bottoms up....there was too much of the vanilla essence in that batch and the coke wasn't cold enough and the froth that usually freezes was all aired out in the ac of the take away...um... tat was cold crap.... had to walk home with a sore butt and a sore neck with spondulitis problem... and it's not because of my weight...its 'coz of my wait...

Demand Me...

Demand me.
Don't hide me from the truth.
I know you know, I know.
These dried flowers stand as a reminder
of your efforts to save me.
Every season comes and goes
so must I
Let winter come, my love
these few short months
I have to comfort
others.
I still hold your memory
dear inside me
like cradled children in
heaven's arms
Please give me this time.
I return my love
when come spring 'round the corner.
Wait at the statue of the Lady,
I shall wait.
My love, dream of me and I visit you frequently
You are the chosen of them all
to bare their pain
You can my love, find the strength.
Just believe in me,
I come again.
You shared your heart with me,
mine with yours....
But I have to go my love,
don't fill tears in your eyes.
My heart drowns every time.
Hear the violins and whistles calling me
my life,
I must go
the caverns call.
For you it is winter.
For someone else it is summer.
I share not my pain with thee
but my happiness,
yes I do.
Bind me not, but only in friendship
O how the caverns call...
Parting be painful for all.
But you go to heaven.
After you go,
I still fare in these lands,
trapped in the future and in memory.
Frozen moments.
Don't wish yourself here,
it is but a bed of roses
but my sinking days will
lead me to you some day.
I'll fare you there, my love,
That shall be my last day...
My last my love my life,
they forbade me
to give you
my being...
but you were true,
I shall be too.
I know you know, I know.
I don't hide from the truth.
Love can never be hidden.

===================================

Fare me to a land of hope
along the garden path
to a fantasy and lore
to a forbidden cliff
Upon the valley I stare
through crystal eyes
the light shining in my eyes shall
be your light.
Somber poetry to song the valley sings
to the unattainable cliff
which lies far away, like paradise
hope in heaven they meet...
but eternity they last along each other,
one dies without the other
but still one dies with the other.
Sincere hope and faith shall bend fate
maybe and curve the path to my side
make the rocks in the sea even rounder
But it's more like the sea meeting and breaking
at the cliff repeatedly,
here and then gone,
sadly, happily
sometimes with no feeling.

Start the music and breathe deep
move your body close to me.
Smile throught pursed lips and
move your hands through my hair.
save me from death tonight
save me from suiside
purify me and change me
attitude tournage....
maybe in the stone age I'd known you
but neither can hide this feeling inside and
don't try tonight
find that vein in my neck and sink in your
sweetened thorns again and again...
and again.
Find my breath and suck it out
and stare at my pupils
dilated pleasure
widened heat and speed
a truth in my being
in the shadow of the garden lay me softly
in the dark ground next to yourself and
lay the wreaths and flowers every dawn
Wait till moon-rise next.
For I come again.

This is the latest poetry based on stuff I started I guess a year ago..

Green Maroon of dried blood...:D

Cared for you, but now I don't

it was not alright, caring for you

it was illegal and cancerous

but it was real all the same.

I didn't say and you went to play

Sorry I didn't say...

sorry I didn't pray or play

but I cared for you

and may be still do...

This is for all the words that fill my infalted heart...

This is my view of things...
I have an inflated heart for the exams and it's hurting my ribs...(that was sick)
Anyways, I actually started blogging today so that I could get my poetry and writing out there.
An effort none the less..not huge, but like I repeat an effort non the less.
I think an October Heat stroke does that to you..messes up you brain and hammers on your head..
This is a status update of the mistaken teenage poet who is almost out of that too..