Your star

I can't see your star.
Its the sounds of humans
that scared it away.

I can't see your angel,
his bright wings that
bring to you peace.
The cruel truth
clawed it's way onto his skin
and made him flee.

I can't hear the choir sing
that you say heals your soul.
I can hear alone the steady toll
of a far away knell.

The silence of the deeper level
is a conscious fear
of the descending dark.
Find your own way out.

Your Missayah has no map
and his light was dim
bread was few
and his bottle ran dry.
upon the cobbled graveled path
lies his staff
his body had lied along side,
thirsty, hungered, defeated.

He although steadily rose
with a breath of the cold dead air
and picked up from where he'd left of
as a man with a mission
to a grave digger with a
rusted, blunt reaper.
**********************************************
**********************************************
**************@@@@@@@@@@@@@@******************

Fear has taken over
what the conscious mind
wants to dictate over.
Bleeding eyes drip away the courage
fear filling up the empty feeling.

Burning on the inside.
Scared it to the surface.
splits open my skin in long, curling slits.
exposing the dead person that
was rotting away,
as I trip and fall.

A second a float,
a second a move,
no control over the existing body.
Just the harrowing awareness
that the control is slipping
and the conscience isn't.

the burst of the wind his howling
curses past my ears,
it encases me coffin like-
the curses upon my head
that I have earned.
The guilt of dominance, the guilt of robbery,
the guilt of injustice,
locks my thoughts inside the cocoon of a long held breath
that traps me
and preserves me mummy- like.


The fall is alone stopped by the spray of the eternal dirt.
It's end none has dug,
and my cocoon, seals me away in the gap.
at first I see a bright purple sky with
silver crystals that hang chandellier like,
and chime upon my bed side,
the steady brush against my face
of the eternal dust,
the eternal dirt that is flicked over me...

It' a treasure- me.
The reaper is my grave digger.
________________________________________

Influenced by Evanescence tracks- Your star and All that I'm Living for.
Due credits.
Imagery is to be fully interpreted on the basis of the fabled 'Reaper'.
I attempt to revisit this theme in the near future. Wish me luck!

Right before 20

Part of growing up
there is a part about each
facet about me
that changes
atleast slightly.
Yesterday all I wanted was
poker strait hair that fell to my knees.
Today I love my beautiful, bouncy,shoulder-length
wavy hair with curls at the end.
Till the day I realized the most amount of styling
I needed was the time I need to make up my mind
what mood I am in at the start of the day.
Milliseconds, but it's an instant failure or success.
For a second I frown at the reflection I saw,
but the me now is grinning with the knowledge that
I am me.
Trust me to justify the stupidest thing that I ever knew of
to be the most important
and taking my time to know what's important
and get my feet on the ground.

My heart was sleeve- loving
the breeze carried a lot with itself
and bits of my heart got scattered away then
but now I know the heart is under so many layers of skin
for a reason.
I don't intend on finding them all,
but right now, my heart is safe and where it belongs,
With me.

-The thought that lingers in my mind
is not the days that I lost,
but it was when days weren't days anymore.
They were moments I wish I could streach into eternity.
But now I love and live from moment to moment.

Sweetness and hope fill me.
There's so much to look forward to.
I can feel it in the wind
upon the oncoming winter chill.
I may frown when it;s cold,
but the bright rays of sunshine across the water that I notice
as I go to college huddled up in a bus
bring to me a smile, a rekindeled fire and the strength
to be who I am,
and be happy.


It seems hard to come by,
but I feel contented today with the way of the world,
that even tough there are a lot of wrong things,
there is a certain set harmony in the working of urban society.
Its the comfort I know, the nature that I would like to explore brings with it fears.
Silent whispers in the wind that are masked by the hooting owl
or the rustling of the leaves
is speaking the heart's word.
No rule that I Must abide,
no code of conduct that I have to stick to,
no threads that pull back my face.
I know I have a grimace at times,
but I haven't forgotten to laugh.
It's that I know, I will laugh no matter what fits or doesn't.
20 years of experience and I have to have atleast a 100 more,
I can rest tonight with hope and love in my heart and dreams that fill my head!